From Orange to Red

It’s that time again – hair dyeing!!
 My gosh it had been a long time since I last bleached my roots and dyed my hair bright red. Too long. But it has been everything going on and I simply had had no time or motivation or energy, even every time I have looked at any mirror dyeing my hair red had been next on my list. But when you have bad things going on you can’t find that little “just-do-it” spark anywhere which include hair dyeing or any of the simple things. It is a shitty place to be in and you do look like it. BUT!! I have had very good times lately and it has pumped me with power and as such the bleach in my closet got it going and I bleached the shit out of my roots so I can finally restore the red color I love so much.

I actually bleached my roots a few days before I dyed my hair – I like to wait some time before I dye my hair after bleaching. I don’t know whether it does anything but still... If not yet red but if I must go outside with ”dyeing-in-progress” hair, it is more bearable to walk outside with light roots than dark, for the contrast is more harsh with my own roots. I have harassed people since the brand which hair dye I used changed it. I'm harassing everyone with bright red hair asking them how they have dyed their hair and with what brand of hair dye. I once harassed an ambulance driver during the ride. So if you have red hair, BEWARE!!

Well I had to dye my hair with something so I stumbled upon this hair dye called “Paintbox” which I decided to try. I had bought two packages of “Paintbox Red Chili” until I realized I would need three of them. There was no time to wait so I needed to go and buy another package of red hair dye. I ended up buying Stargazer’s “Rouge” just in case if those two won’t last. It would have been fucked up situation if my hair would have been still orange in some parts.

After all that time using to dye my hair it is so worth it when you see your hair red again. It was a relief to see that the new colors were as good as I hoped them to be and even I ran out of hair dye after those two packages I still had the extra package of hair dye which luckily happened to be the same color as the other even it was a different brand. These were very good hair dyes and they were as bright red as I had hoped for so now I sure know what to use next time. Success overall.

I remember getting this card which says “hair is well, all is well”.

Boxes & Corsets

It is always like a little Christmas when you get boxes –even you know what they contain but you can pretend that you don’t. I had been shopping online through the night and now finally my boxes and clothes had arrived.

When opening the boxes there were “The Mentalist” Seasons 1-3 and “The Big Bang Theory” Seasons 1-4, “The Three Musketeers” and “The Bodyguard”.

I had also been second hand shopping online and bought two beautiful corsets and key chain earrings.

Speaking of earrings I was also doing some real life shopping and these two caught my eye.

Insomnia and Nail Polish

Last night I didn’t have ANY sleep at all even I tried – I can not sleep without some chemical help. But somehow I still was hyperactive during the whole day.

After therapy I went shopping. I have been watching these nail polishes for weeks until I would get money to buy them and when I finally got a change to buy them I picked three of my favourite colors. I also got nail polish remover to get rid of my previous and flaked nails polish before I would put on my new glitter polish.

Nail Polishes were by ORLY and shades were (from left to right):
GOTH 48637
ON THE LIST 48633
MEET ME UNDER THE MISTLETOE 48624

Nail Polish Remover was by Maybeline. It was the greatest nail polish remover so far that I’ve tried. It didn’t dry out nails or skin and smelled good.

I also bought a basic black tank top from Vila. You can never have too much good tank tops and they go with anything, skirts corsets, etc. On my way home I stumled upon crystal glasses that were on sale.

I tried to take a nap but didn’t work. I know that one sleepless night usually helps me sleep on the next night... So I’m waiting to see what happens.
 

Striped Pillows and Writing

Today I slept late and looked through my window the puffy clouds. I got a call to remind me about reading the interview and make possible changes to it before it's complete. The interview thing was there were a journalist looking for people who are disability pension to write about it. I saw the journalist last Thursday and we talked for 45 minutes as she asked about my life. I told her almost everything what has been going on and it felt surprisingly easy to be open about these things but I have told them so, so many times to so, so many people from my friends to doctors and it just comes out when someone asks about them again. The photos for the interview will be taken later after the summer which is good because my hair is a mess right now. I don't know why I felt like volunteer to be interviewed - not for attention but I felt like I need to do it for myself.

It’s always funny to walk outside your room and find your cat like this...

I sat down with cranberry long drink and started writing again. There’s a text I have been writing for over two years but I haven't touched it in about four months due all what has happened and it is such a heavy subject and I can't handle it sometimes even I’m writing about it. But I can't stop now for I have written 301 pages and for so long so it's too late to stop it now. I want that day to come when I can finish it with the words "The End". I have other texts and ideas too but this one I have been working on the longest.

It was pretty hot day but I wanted to feel pretty and put on a dress. My way was towards Ikea where I first got a cup of black coffee and while waiting it to cool down I just watched the people around me. I found perfect black-and-white striped pillows on my bed.

My mom finally found a shelf to bathroom but living with three cats you can never feel too alone and you can't build a shelf without a few muses helping around - unless one of them is sleeping on the instructions.

Self-Esteem and Skirts

There were a long time when I didn't use skirts at all - it was just somehow easier to put on a pair of pants. I like black jeans with high heels but the way I used then normally with regular shoes made me look as short as I am. But the summer began to come and I decided to start using skirts maybe a little more again. And it was so much better than just jeans and I wondered why I ever used jeans instead of skirts. I found all my skirts as we were moving and what is kind of remarkable was that I found a dress which fit me well - I never find dresses.

I guess the pants-option were because of my mood which was very down maybe because of the darkness of the winter time and I didn’t feel the need to put that much effort on how I looked. And I kind of grew to that idea that I wasn't pretty enough for using skirts. But I now have found skirts again and I have found my self-esteem again. I feel pretty again.  

To be honest I have not used make up at all. I have not been as dedicated to it as I used to be. It may also be because of my bad timing and I'm always in such a hurry. I like to use make-up but I can’t do it in a hurry. I feel more beautiful when I'm putting it on – not like that's a condition for me to feel pretty. It all kind of flopped during the winter, no one wouldn’t see if I was wearing make-up when it's dark, I can't use high heels on icy roads and the pants-dilemma was just as it was. But I've gladly gotten over it.

I know that sometime it would be easier just put on pair of pants but there's really not that much of a work to put on a skirt and it's really a matter of attitude and I'll try to remember that next time when I'm doubt.