June 14, 2012

Striped Pillows and Writing

Today I slept late and looked through my window the puffy clouds. I got a call to remind me about reading the interview and make possible changes to it before it's complete. The interview thing was there were a journalist looking for people who are disability pension to write about it. I saw the journalist last Thursday and we talked for 45 minutes as she asked about my life. I told her almost everything what has been going on and it felt surprisingly easy to be open about these things but I have told them so, so many times to so, so many people from my friends to doctors and it just comes out when someone asks about them again. The photos for the interview will be taken later after the summer which is good because my hair is a mess right now. I don't know why I felt like volunteer to be interviewed - not for attention but I felt like I need to do it for myself.

It’s always funny to walk outside your room and find your cat like this...

I sat down with cranberry long drink and started writing again. There’s a text I have been writing for over two years but I haven't touched it in about four months due all what has happened and it is such a heavy subject and I can't handle it sometimes even I’m writing about it. But I can't stop now for I have written 301 pages and for so long so it's too late to stop it now. I want that day to come when I can finish it with the words "The End". I have other texts and ideas too but this one I have been working on the longest.

It was pretty hot day but I wanted to feel pretty and put on a dress. My way was towards Ikea where I first got a cup of black coffee and while waiting it to cool down I just watched the people around me. I found perfect black-and-white striped pillows on my bed.

My mom finally found a shelf to bathroom but living with three cats you can never feel too alone and you can't build a shelf without a few muses helping around - unless one of them is sleeping on the instructions.

Pillow by pillow and with every little detail my room is coming to what I have always wanted it to be. Every new thing completes it more and it feels a bit more perfect every time I add something to it. I have switched little things to black versions like a keyboard, a mouse, a fan and display case. I still need black curtains and few other things before I can say my room is as complete as it can be - can it ever be? I have already found and ordered perfect knob for my black display case and I have already found a perfect canvas for the curtains and they just needs to be made. I will post pictures of my room when it's ready...

I would also get sleepy if I would run around the house like mad and mess up carpets...

I have been doing very well in these last days. It's stupid how I still don't know how to enjoy them 100% in fear of losing them. There have been such a bad time for so long that I don't dare to take everything out of the good days fearing they would be numbered. That's fucking silly.

It would be nice to get a proper daily routine going even though it is heavenly to stay up too late for the bright mornings of summertime. I love watching outside my window and it's never dark and sunset and sunrise are never too far from each other. I'm looking forward the midnight waffles and sitting on the balcony watching the sun to rise when the only sound is birds singing when everyone else are still sleeping.

P.S. I succumbed to temptation and surfed through the internet and looking through clothes and jewellery which caught my eye. I already bought a few things and have still something that needs to be bought... 


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