Moving Almost Completed & May Day

On Friday my mom was busy with getting the warehouse empty while I was trying to be helpful, packing some of the stuff upstairs. I wasn't that much of a help for there wasn’t anything much for me to do anymore so my mom dropped me home and went back. On Saturday my mom did a looong 13 hour day back on our previous home on her own. On Sunday my mom got everything still together and out of the house while I cleaned it up starting from upstairs, vacuuming every corner and washing the floor. It took surprisingly more time and we got to get out of there twelve o’clock at night. My mom went back to melt the freezers but they were way too frozen up and full of ice. She got back 4 a.m. at the morning and went to sleep for she had a work day next day.

On Monday we finally got every last stuff out of the house and it was finally completely empty. I continued emptying the other freezer which was finally melted. I also took final photos of every room which were now empty to look afterwards. It was May Day so Koskenranta (a park near Tammerkoski river) was absolutely crowded with teens drinking and... well, drinking. I was asked by my friends to come there and spend the rest of evening there but this was still a moving day and it came a bit suddenly so I couldn’t go there. First I felt bad for not going but however, I did go by that place and saw the craziest crowd of drunken and puking teens I’ve ever seen and that wasn’t a place for me after all – or a person with anxiety or panic disorder overall.

So, like first planned, the rest of the night and my May Day celebration was at home with my mom and cats being overly satisfied for the moving was “officially” over and only the rest of these grey moving boxes to be unpacked. The night included good drinks and cats in pizza boxes – not staining myself in overcrowded lawn with puking teens.

They decorate the four statues on the bridge next to city centre days before May Day:

Moving in Progress

On Monday I started to empty my two display cases and even they are “just” two display cases I knew it will take more time I imagined. It was shocking how much things and other shit was in there, although it has been eight years of storing so I guess there could be more... five full boxes was filled before I could see the empty shelves again. But it was apparently one of those places I had most of my things so it was a great thing to get them emptied. There was so much work to do and realizing how behind I was I got extremely anxious and I had one of many of those moments where I had serious doubts of am I going to get the job done. And the clock is ticking, Wednesday was just around the corner and I felt I was falling behind too much...

The cats seem to be more tired than we even they didn’t really do anything but they were so very excited about it all and explored the things that were happening diving in the boxes and almost seeing those piles as a Wonderland.

On Sunday there was a lot to do but luckily we watched the movie “Holiday” and it was so wonderful and left a very good feeling and gave strength for the coming week to come since we knew the first days would be more than hectic. We had actually tried to lighten up the whole weekend by watching movies – and so far it had worked well. It has always been my escape.

We were so back with the schedule so luckily on Tuesday we got people come to help with the packing. I worked with my closets and I was shocked how much shit was in every drawer and shelf I touched. I know that going through the papers etc. took more time than needed but I somehow managed to get everything ready in my room for the next day when the moving men would come and carry out the boxes.

So, then came Wednesday. The day was the most beautiful for moving, sun was shining and sky was blue with only a few fluffy clouds. The moving truck came and the same people were helping us to carry everything out from the house who were helped us packing our things a day before. The help was more than needed! It took about two hours to get almost everything on that truck – the rest stuff that didn’t go into the truck will be brought on Saturday.

Thoughts About Moving

After seeing about twenty boxes in front of the house was a wake up call that this is really happening. And only then I realized I will really miss this home. After carrying the boxes inside, I hated the “smell” of they left and it didn’t smell like home anymore, but rather a strange place - and that confirms the situation.

I have been taking photos of the house so after we have moved we could look at those photos and remember how our last home was... I took several “same” photos from the same corner but you can’t really see from the tiny screen of the camera is the photo a bit tilted or blurry, so I play it safe. I took photos yesterday, today and will continue taking photos tomorrow and planning on doing that on the coming days before the rooms are being touched and things put in boxes.

 All the cats were confused about what was going on and came to see what I was doing. Siru must jump over the display case and watched at me from above...

It came a bit of a shock how fast this all is going after all. At first I waited it would, for it felt taking too long (also partially because of the raging anxiety, I suppose) and this one day when I sat down and talked about this whole thing with my mom it came up that we are moving already on this next Wednesday and start packing every day from now on. I had been hearing date 1st of May so much that in my head I thought we would move then but Wednesday is already 25th day. And now this all is feeling to go on too fast... Pretty stupid, huh.

I feel that I don’t have time to take everything out of this place since we are not spending this summer here and even realizing my anxiety must have been because of this moving thing and now it’s even more for I feel I have to use this time somehow very creatively and I don’t know what to do. I just hate seeing these grey plastic moving boxes around and every time I go in any room I’m trying to save the sight in my head for I know it would be packed in grey boxes faster than I know. I’m admire these sunny days between these grey cloudy ones while I’m still here, in this house. I know I can come back here to walk around this place but I fear and know it might not feel the same since the moving is over and I no longer live here. And like always going to places where I used to live and seeing my old homes with some other people now living in them feels just somehow uncomfortable and strange. I never get use to that.

I hope that everything goes well and I won’t break under this. This is very hard especially emotionally and I have a fear that I might not last under the stress and I lose it. Even though I try to be helpful during this moving process and when this all is over I can breathe again...
I'm a bit worried how the cats will adjust to the new house and what if they fall from the balcony. From this current house the drop it "only" two stories but the new one is four. Cats have fell off the balcony before and they have been fine but four stories is a different thing and in a new and strange environment - that's not a good thing. But lets not get ahead of things...

Moving...

I'm so stressed for I'm moving in two weeks. After seeing the new place for the first time a switch turned in my head and that was it. I had been thinking it all the time after that and designing how my room would look. And that's a good thing. It was a big deal for my mom to get my "approval" of the place. It felt like a place to build a home.

My (still) home has been dear for me for these eight past years but as the moving had come closer it has felt harder to "settle down" or seeing this place home anymore as much as before for I'm already picturing the new place and everything related to it. It's like the moving is the next page. I will miss this place but in every good way as possible. 

I have been looking through old photos I’ve taken while living here. And it’s kind of amazing how keen you can get to your surroundings outside the home. While walking by these streets and paths I’ve grown to like them so much. This one place near the water is my favourite place on this earth... Especially in winter.