October 8, 2013

Seeing an Effort Again

Today was an amazing day. I was full of energy and I was so happy (even the sun was hidden behind thick clouds). But I’ve only felt this good for over a week and every day counts for me. I don’t know what happened but since the last day of September I’ve been feeling so good again. There was a long downtime when I couldn’t get enough out of myself and I let myself just go from one day to another. I didn’t have energy or interest to keep up my hair color or look into my cabinets what treasures there is for me to wear or put on my make-up.

But today was different – I had decided yesterday that today I would do something different... I woke up early full of energy (even I slept badly) and I had in my mind what to wear today and what kind of make-up I would do. Oh, and I had bleached my hair yesterday so that has given an extra-extra boost to my self-esteem for I know that the “hard” part was over and the next step is red hair again. I had been having a long brown roots and a shabby orange hair for too long and now it was time to do something about it – I had been waiting for the bleaching eagerly. Although I was a little bit worried how it will go for it was such a long time since I did it last time – will it burn my scalp, will my hair fall out, etc. But everything went better than good and with the help of my mom the job was done in 25 minutes.

This is the result:

I thriving with this hair – it came up so nicely. And the most important thing is that now it looks like I have a sort of ombre hair - that I’m supposing to have orange ends and blonde roots. I’m feeling semi-blonde and I like it. I like this hair too but I don’t see myself as a permanent blonde, to be honest. But I will keep this for a little bit longer because I like it and also because the red hair dye I use now was out of stock from where I used to buy it and it took me a moment to find another place with a good price – now my order is sent and all I need to do is wait... But I can’t wait!

One thing I enjoyed today was the 20 minutes I applied my makeup – something I haven’t done in months. I took my time and tried to be as careful as I could. And step by step I felt even prettier – but I don’t see makeup as defining how pretty I am, only accentuating it. Like some people it seems like a mask to hide behind in. I wonder what they think when they see themselves in the mirror in the mornings. I don’t ever want that situation – I like how I look without makeup also.
And this was my outfit today:

It was an absolute joy to go through my cabinets and to see what’s in there and have a difficult moment deciding what to wear. I actually looked in my cabinets a while ago and found this skirt I used today since I have been looking for it since we moved. But I finally found it.

One of the other things that made me feeling beautiful today was putting on a corset after a long time. I adore that even it’s laced not that tightly it gives such a support for my back and posture I need. And since it has been a long time since I used a corset, I didn’t lace it that tightly, just enough for a start to stay comfortable. But my plan is to get back to using corsets more often and starting to lace them more tightly with time. I have a lot of corsets... I seriously need to use them!

It feels bad to admit I haven’t have strength to keep up my look for such a long time but today was a change for the better. I will definitely now put more effort to myself and how I look. And the best part is that I’m not doing it for anyone else but myself only.

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