Thoughts About Being a Vegetarian

I still don’t know what made me turn into a vegetarian - lacto-vegetarian that is. I still can’t use eggs for the idea they come from inside a living thing repulses me – it’s like eating a human fetus. So what made me eat dairy products then? Maybe a whim? Milk itself on the other hand, repulses me and I can’t drink cow’s milk at all for I really like how the oat milk tastes like and I prefer that. I rarely eat yoghurt but since I turned vegetarian, it’s now all the same are they made from soy milk or milk. I like margarine better than butter – I don’t like the taste of butter. I never, ever use butter on my bread. I prefer soy and oat cream when making food and I don’t feel good using “regular” cream made from cow’s milk for it reminds me too much of the milk itself which repulses me – even I do use “regular” cream while preparing food if my mom has bought it and there’s nothing else in the fridge. It’s sometimes easier to use crème fraiche than to drained soy yoghurt which doesn’t taste the same in the end.

So what’s my weak spot then? Cheese. It has always been my weak spot. When I was vegan, I used soy based cheese a lot but the one and only taste of a product which has come from an animal has always been cheese, I’m afraid to admit. It was the one and only thing I missed while being a vegan. I also thought of making my own soy cheese before and even after I turned into a vegetarian just to get it right. But I don’t eat cheese without guilt – every day I imagine myself to go back to being a vegan so I could eat without guilt again. I know milk production is so cruel and that one of those awful videos of animals suffering would stop me from eating cheese but I hadn’t yet watched a video… That makes me feel bad.

I absolutely repulse everything (I mean everything) about meat and it feels sick to my stomach when I’m at the meat counter of the grocery store with my mom – all that red, raw, dead meat swimming in interstitial fluid and blood makes me actually sick. When I ate meat years ago I had always hated Mettwurst – it tasted like iron and all so wrong. I could never eat horse, rabbit, dove, lamb or reindeer – hell, I could never eat any meat again! It just saddens me that almost every animal could be turned into food... I’m so glad that people in Finland don’t eat cats or dogs or our very own pets – oh sorry, people do eat rabbits for example. Fuck. I’m so glad that the only meat I have ever eaten is beef, pork, chicken and tasted a tiny bit of lamb unfortunately. What the hell am I talking about!? I’m not glad of it! I could have eaten none of that meat to be honest. I have always thought “why didn’t I start my veganism or vegetarianism earlier?” It’s a shame really. I thought too much of what the others might think and the most importantly: would I will be allowed to be a vegetarian. I started to be a vegetarian when I was 17-years-old and after one year I turned into a vegan.

I absolutely adore Gordon Ramsay’s attitude but I don’t like his thoughts towards vegetarians (not to mention vegans then). I watch one of his shows, “The F Word”, among the other of his shows but even it’s entertaining show, it sometimes shocks me (maybe it’s the point sometimes) with all the slaughtering of the poor animals and I don’t like it to be shown on television – there’s no need to show it! There was one episode in particular I liked the most – there Gordon grew his own pigs (to be eaten, unfortunately) but after seeing a video how pigs are treated in the large production factories he said that he understands why someone would want to be a vegetarian – that was something he thought he would never say. I only wish he could hook on that thought. Wink wink. I didn’t like the episode where he came to his restaurant holding four goose by their feet and slamming them onto a table said to the cooks in the kitchen to make their livers to count for there isn’t much. Also what caught my eye was that there was a girl band “Girls Aloud” at the dining room and the other member was Cheryl Cole and she said that she was a vegetarian. She also said that she makes a good spaghetti Bolognese and when Gordon Ramsay asked the secret behind that Cheryl Cole actually answered that her secret is a bouillon cube – not very vegetarian now, Cheryl.


(watch the video on from the point 01:00 minutes on)

So. My weak spot is cheese but I hate eating meat and eggs and many other dairy products than cheese – and I don’t even like all cheeses, like goat cheese or blue cheese for example... Would I be a vegetarian forever, I don’t know. Maybe I will watch one of those videos about milk production (because I already know what it is like) and maybe I need to see what it is like so I could come back to the surface from my using of dairy products and start fresh with being vegan again. Maybe someday I will try to make my own vegan cheese and if it’s good enough maybe I will turn to vegan again – but the regular soy based cheese from the grocery store should be good enough to substitute regular cheese for me after all. Because I shouldn’t use any products came from an animal. I’m that (cheese) close to being vegan again... What day will that be?